But of course Jones was willfully misunderstood on social media and—to make a long story short—Fox News host Tucker Carlson ended up devoting an entire segment of his show to the subject with the chyron: “Trans Activist: Men Should Find Us Attractive.”“Now we’re advancing toward mandatory transgender dating,” Carlson told warned his audience. One of the first things I realized was that men were attracted to women like me.“For real.”Adding insult to injury, Carlson referred to transgender women not as “women” but as “other biological men who are transgender.”Jones was stunned by the fact that the conservative TV host would tell people that “[she] was going to force them to sleep with trans women”—and taken aback by the “thousands of commenters [who] helpfully informed [her] that [she] was too hideous to ever find someone to love.” Somehow her attempt to make a complex point to her 17,000 Twitter followers about transgender dating had given rise to a paranoid rant on a top-rated prime-time cable news show, culminating in Carlson worrying that dating sites could one day require men to date a certain number of transgender women for every cisgender woman they dated. “Mandatory transgender dating” would make a great ironic band name but it is not the political goal of the transgender rights movement. I went to a popular Southern transgender conference to gather information, connect with medical providers, and hopefully make a few friends.We have been together long enough that I barely remember what it feels like to go on a date.So when it comes to the ridiculous panic around transgender dating—which typically revolves around cisgender men dating transgender women—I have no skin in the game.
This is a real, urgent problem that many transgender women have to face—and one that our community’s best writers, like author Janet Mock, have eloquently explored.Over a quarter of Americans on a recent survey said they wouldn’t even want to be friends with a transgender person—and only thirteen percent said they would be comfortable “engaging in a sexual act of any kind” with a transgender woman.