Dating someone whose parent has cancer
Phil and I were directed to a booth by the hostess. It was hard to look at him, so I just focused on the napkin folding. He told me later he wasn’t so nervous about the cancer part, but that maybe I’d leave him like the other women he’d dated in the past. ”At the time I was asked, I was caught off guard and didn’t really say anything.He told me what I already knew he was there to say. I had badgered him for months to get a follow up check-up after his surgery—the removal of one of his lungs that was riddled with cancerous tumors a year or so prior to our meeting each other. Although I already knew it from the way he sounded on the phone as he asked me to meet him at the diner, but finally hearing it from him, my heart sank deep into my chest. I have actually heard so many strange and oftentimes insensitive things, nothing really shocks me anymore.Have I lectured myself through all the struggles have been through since he died, saying to myself, “Nicole, you chose this.You signed up for this.” It is a script I am all too familiar with. I don’t consider my choice as some valiant act of bravery either; we were just two broken people who fell in love and lived a lifetime together, and even though it only consisted of four years, it was Nicole is a is a widowed mom to three children.Here are some general guidelines that could help you provide the kind of support your partner needs: Although your spouse has cancer, the illness is really happening to both of you.Your life is being disrupted in many of the same ways.
Cancer treatment can cause a change in energy level. You might think your spouse is mostly scared, when actually he or she feels more sad or perhaps guilty about the consequences of the cancer for you.