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But it's not just women or singles who deal with text message misinterpretations, confusion, stress, and assumptions, plenty of people in relationships get caught up in decoding text messages, or worse, engage in text fights."This is one of the biggest relationship pitfalls that I hear about in my practice," Laura L.Ryan, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a Certified Imago Therapist in Austin, Texas tells Bustle."The way I explain it to couples is that most intimate to least intimate communication ranks like this: 1) Face-to-face conversation, 2) Face Time, 3) Written letter, 4) Email, 5) Instant message or text."But texting is just so convenient, right?These misunderstandings can cause rifts in relationships.Because we cannot see or hear the person speaking, much of the message's meaning can be lost.""Eighty percent of human communication is nonverbal and during texting, because we cannot see the other person's face, hear their tone of voice or observe their physical posture and mannerisms, the information transmission quickly breaks down," Ryan says."Although texting is quicker and more convenient, it may create a stale and monotone dialect between partners.Instead of learning how your significant other responds emotionally to certain comments or questions, you are left knowing what they are saying and missing how they feel.In one case a young man got into a text war with his girlfriend who was away for the weekend with her girlfriends, and didn’t stay in touch with him, the way he did with her when he was the one who was out of town," April Masini, relationship and etiquette expert tells Bustle. He wrote me asking for clarification on what happened.I explained that texting is super easy, super fast, and the quickest way to escalate drama.
), or terrifying (if you're not used to it), but your best bet for communicating effectively and building a connection with your crush or partner may be to just pick up the phone and call them.
Voice inflection also helps us understand the true message.
Written words, in the form of texting or emails, can be easily misunderstood.
There is an old-school charm to talking on the phone and staying up until the early morning conversing with your partner can create the best moments in a young relationship.""The overwhelming impact of texting on new romance has been primarily negative, particularly when it comes to navigating the very beginning stages of dating someone new," Manhattan psychologist Dr. "Texting and other electronic communication very often results in misunderstandings, miscommunications, misinterpretations, erroneous assumptions, rash decisions, and other negative complications and obstacles in new relationships.
We lose all of the very important information about a person's emotions that are communicated through things like tone of voice, and the more lengthy and complete style of communicating we use when speaking with someone. So much can be gained early on in a relationship by just speaking to someone on the phone rather than excessive texting, and many unnecessary problems can be minimized or completely avoided.""I have spent countless hours parsing through misinterpreted text messages between couples," Michel Horvat, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in couple's therapy, tells Bustle. " This scenario happens almost weekly, and as much as I'd much rather have face-to-face communication than a string of abbreviations and emoji with someone I'm dating, I've also been the one looking for translations of my text conversations.